SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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