Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Randomize
