so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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