I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize