ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
