Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
