Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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