drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize