1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
