we made out on top of his cat.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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