would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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