if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
