Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
