Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
