He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
