Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hippo gnu deer
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize