So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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