you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
