and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Houston, we have a squirter
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
