i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
