Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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