your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize