I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
