I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
