You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
