I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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