Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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