just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
