i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
