I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
