the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
