just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
