Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
