Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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