Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I won the penis lottery.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
