I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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