and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
