His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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