Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
