my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
