i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
