Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
