I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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