So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
