ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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