I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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