So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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