I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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