I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
