I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
