Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
