SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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