Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
