I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
