I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
