all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
