No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
