no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
