Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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