Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
